Mac Finds Himself
by Scott Hefflon
This is the final adventure of Macaroni McSpoon. For now…
Mac found himself picking his nose. He was beside himself with disgust. He thought he’d given up this dirty habit. “Didn’t I give up nose picking?” Mac pondered with Dismay and Disgust. They pondered together, then separately. “Yes,” Disgust started slowly, “but as you can see, you’re not really yourself at the moment.” Mac looked for himself, and found with Dismay that he was still beside himself and he was still engrossed in picking his nose. “This may sound odd,” Dismay said, sounding odd, “but I think you just found yourself.” Mac tried to grasp this concept but couldn’t. He had the feeling he was missing something. The Feeling was vague and offered no clarification.
“What?” Mac asked, for lack of anything better to say. Disgust rolled its eyes disgustedly, “We’ve discussed this. The point is…” Disgust faltered and became Unsure. He then proceeded to become Shocked and Totally Confused. “Wow.” He breathed in Awe. “This is quite an identity crisis, Mac.” He finished with Sympathy.
The room was getting crowded and Mac was getting nowhere. Mac realized he’d better pull himself together. This was evidently the point he’d been missing. Slowly, the point began to sink into all of them. With all the Patience that would fit in the already crowded room, Mac waited. Time was not Kind, and Kind turned out to be Rather Helpless, and Mac found himself becoming Bored. Bored became Irate at the intrusion and snapped “Why don’t you just get it over with and get to know yourself!”
This hadn’t occurred to Mac, or to any of them, including Irate. They all were Surprised at the same time. Mac finally found the point he’d been missing and was now able to grasp the concept. He leaped out of his chair with Surprise. He surprised himself by whirling around and introducing himself. He stared in surprise at himself. They seemed to have a lot in common. Mac knew they would be very close.
With a smile, Mac sat down and began to talk to himself.