Nightstick

Blotter (Relapse)
by Lex Marburger

“Hey Greg. Going to football practice today?”

“What’s up, Keith. Yeah. Check it out. I got this new CD today.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I was at this store, and I asked the geek behind the counter if he had anything heavy.”

“Wha’d he say?”

“He gave me this band Nightstick. C’mon, let’s put it on.”

(Silence, followed by what sounds like a combination of an earthquake and a malfunctioning jet engine.)

“Greg, what the fuck is wrong with your stereo?”

“I dunno. Lemme check.”

(Greg fiddles with the wires for a few minutes. Rumbling continues, now punctuated with some sort of drums and guitar.)

“There we go. So, anyway, I was with that chick Shirley last night and I- Hold on, I think this is on the wrong speed.”

“It’s a CD, Greg.”

“Oh.”

“Let me see the case… Blotter, huh… Hey, they’ve got a Floyd cover! Cool! Put it on that one!”

(Pause, followed by the sound of a guitar trying to eat itself.)

“I swear, man, my stereo must be fucked up. What is this?”

“Maybe it’s on the wrong speed.”

“It’s a CD, Keith.”

“Oh.”

(The stereo makes tortured screaming noises combined with stumbling drums)

“Keith, I’m starting to feel a little sick.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I think I gotta lie down.”

(The door opens.)

“Hey guys, let’s go, we gotta- Is that on the wrong speed?”

“It’s a CD, Mark.”

“Oh.”

(All three stare at the stereo, as Nightstick plays on.)