Star Trek: First Contact

with atrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner
Directed by Jonathan Frakes
Written by Gene Roddenberry and Rick Berman (Paramount)
by Chaz Thorndike

Jean-Luc Picard plays Captain Ahab in this sci-fi thriller packed with discarded prime directives, part organic/part cyborg zombies (called the Borg – How advanced can they be with an unimaginative name like that?), drunkenly belligerent history-makers, and lots of whiz-bang effects to cover up a weak plot to save life, the universe and everything. These Borg things go back in time to change human history so space travel was never invented, so the Enterprise posse has to go back to make sure it does. Mid-21st century, after the third World War (conveniently enough), when men were greedy, barbaric sots and women didn’t take no shit from no one neither. Picard’s busy having acid flashbacks, so the rest of the crew bugs out. Data gets caught up by the dark side while a cast of expendable extras storm through ill-lit hallways looking all grim and shit. After killing a lot of people and making a bunch of speeches, Picard and Data exchange knowing glances, melt the sadistic slut who wants them to join her commune (“The Collective,” gee, that’s a clever name), and save Earth, the future, and their chances of appearing in the next Star Trek movie. I imagine they’ll play the wizened overactors like the original crew who still can’t get decent jobs. History does have a way of repeating itself.