Garbage Pail

by William Ham, Scott Hefflon, Lex Marburger
illustrations by Mark Reusch

LANGUAGE LESSON FOR THE MONTH

(aka CONJUGATE THIS!)

This issue: LATIN

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
“I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.”

I am the Firestarter.

He is the Firestarter.
She is the Firestarter.
Wouldn’t
you like
to be the Firestarter
too?

LOGICAL PROGRESSION No. 347

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
If laws are outlawed, only outlaws will have laws.
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.

Disheartening Quote of
the Month:
“There’s a new band in town but you can’t get the sound from a story in a magazine, aimed at your average teen.”
-Billy Joel’s “Still Rock and Roll to Me”
Well, there goes my job.