Lost Highway
With Bill Pullman, Patricia Arquette, Balthazar Getty, Robert Blake
Written by David Lynch and Barry Gifford
Directed by David Lynch
by Nik Rainey
Whattaya mean you don’t get it? It’s very simple – the sax player thinks his wife is cheating on him, so he kills her, or maybe he doesn’t, either way he has it on tape ’cause Baretta called himself at the guy’s house to tell him so. He goes to jail and changes into a greasy teen with a big wound on his head, but that’s okay since his dad is Gary Busey and he knows a thing or two about grievous head injuries and at least the kid didn’t inherit his bridgework. Then he falls for this blonde-haired girl who reminds him of someone, then he realizes she looks just like the chick in True Romance, which would make him Christian Slater, which creeps him out because the only thing scarier than seeing a tape of a murder you don’t remember committing is stumbling across that Sunday afternoon double feature of The Legend of Billie Jean and Gleaming the Cube on TNT and realizing that some crimes can never be forgiven. So he has a lot of sex and knocks some dude’s head through a coffee table to take his mind off it. He gets a little confused and thinks the girl’s gangster boyfriend is Gary Oldman and knocks him off too as revenge for ruining his life and for his laughably bad performance in The Professional. That brings him to his senses and he remembers that the most noteworthy thing he’s ever done before that is Young Guns II, so he changes back into the sax player because at least Independence Day made a whole lot of money. Then a dancing dwarf comes in and talks backwards for a while until a sandworm shows up and knocks his head off and some kid brings it to a factory and makes some erasers out of it, one of which ends up at the end of a pencil owned by an eccentric writer/director and he uses it to erase all the unambiguous stuff from the first draft of this screenplay he’s working on about a sax player who thinks his wife is cheating on him, etc. Now, how could you have missed all that?
