Garbage Pail
Things to do to John Denver When He’s Dead
by William Ham
- Smoke his ashes for a real Rocky Mountain High!
- Stuff his carcass and cast him in Jim (“It’s Not Easy Being Green, Filled With Formaldehyde, and Rigor Mortised”) Henson’s The Muppets Take the Mortuary.
- Reunite him with George Burns for the Nietszchean comedy, Oh, God is Dead!
- Use him as an exhibit in the newly-constructed Folksinging Pussies Hall of Fame.
- Enlist Oliver Stone to make a bio-pic which insinuates that his death was the result of a conspiracy between the CIA, the mob, and a band of vigilante rock critics.
