The Blackest Album
An Industrial Tribute to Metallica (Cleopatra)
by Scott Hefflon
This kinda thing can go either way. Luckily, The Blackest Album has some really, really good interpretations of the more popular Metallica songs. Classics from the first few albums are criminally omitted, while moody epics from Metallica’s later days are often covered twice. This tribute spotlights the glory without trifling with the gory, but hell, it’s still pretty good. Apoptygma Berzerk opens with a haunting version of “Nothing Else Matters,” and while metalheads may not liken to the fruity falsetto of the Pet Shop Boysian chorus tainting their shaggy icons’ memory, the song always had a wide-eyed, blood-soaked, lone ballerina skipping and twirling amidst fresh corpses feel to me, and this cover finally brings that dementia to the spotlight. Next up is “Battery (Re-filtered by Filter section)” by Die Krupps. From what I hear, they did an entire Metallica tribute years ago. I also hear a lot of people like these guys. I don’t. “Battery” originally lived up to its name – a stronghold of aggression. This cover is cutesy and mid-tempo, the vocalist trying to be tough, but sounding more like he needs to clear his throat. I got two speeding tickets one summer while blasting this song as loud as my little car speakers could handle. The only speed record I’ll break with this cover is how quickly I can shut it off. And while Razed in Black is a pretty great band, you wouldn’t be able to tell from the vocal struggling of “The Thing That Should Not Be (Back in Black Mix).” Luckily, it’s a heavy, stomping song, so even with all the clatter, the chugging holds together. (Fuckin’ keyboards can’t hold a candle to a guitar’s powerchord – not now, not ever.) Spew cover “For Whom The Bell Tolls” in scary, distorted everything, whisper the heavily-processed vox style that is practically synonymous with industrial. And the intro (required learning for any first-year metal guitarist) sounds pretty damn cool on keyboards.
Hellsau stop by with “Master of Puppets” to remind us that Metallica was a fast and furious band at one point, and while for some reason I keep thinking of guitarist Steve Stevens’ performance on Billy Idol’s Vital Idol, there’s lots of clanking, looping, rapidly-punched beats, and as many industrial gimmicks as metal. They don’t, um, sing any of the lyrics, but when has that ever mattered? Razed in Black return to redeem themselves with “Damage Inc.,” covering it at breakneck speed with breakbeats and techno/gabba-gabba-whatever madness. And while the vocals still sound strained, there’s so much sonic carnage, you don’t have time to care. Abaddon of Venom cover “Whiplash,” and aside from distorted vocals, they sound like just a poorly-produced, completely ignorable metal band. And while I never really cared for “Wherever I May Roam,” Godhead‘s cover of it is even more forgettable. No dynamics make this even more boring than the original. The Element tinker with “Nothing Else Matters (Elemental Mix),” but after Apoptygma Berzerk’s wonderful version, this was bound to sound flat. Carbon 12 also cover “The Thing That Should Not Be,” and while the whispered, distorted vox don’t sound as out-of-range as Razed in Black’s version, the song loses most of its heaviness by going for the cold, sterile, inhuman, eerie vibe. Yawn.
Birmingham 6 cover “Seek and Destroy,” another fine tune from the hard rock days, and while they approach it more like KMFDM than Abaddon of Venom approached “Whiplash,” there’s just little you can do with these songs cuz they’re pretty simple. They’re power rock, for all practical purposes, so all you can do is distort the vox and throw in samples and other unnecessary industrial gimmickry to fill the spaces. It’s a song of violence and aggression, and whispering just don’t cut it. In Strict Confidence cover “Sad But True,” and while it’s going for that same eerie emptiness I loathe (especially when it replaces the roar of metal), these guys have the good graces to have gut-wrenching vocals atop their post-Depeche Mode beats. A good light show and some hot Goth chicks doing their Deadhead fingers-tickling-the-gods dance and this’d rule! Closing is La Honda Militia recovering “Battery (High Voltage Mix).” A prime example of “every four measures, we’re going to add yet another unnecessary percussion line. What do you mean? That is the song!” While I don’t hear anything very high voltage about this, it sounds like it’d be good to do aerobics to.
Please excuse my bitching. I just have trouble with electronic bands, howling and distorted or not, trying to replicate Kirk’s amped-to-11 guitar power and the rage and trebling passion of James’ voice. While rivetheads might totally dig this, I’m reminded how powerful metal was, and how moving later Metallica songs were. A few really cool covers here, mixed with versions that make me want to shut this off and dig out the originals.
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