Vampire Freaks – Review

Vampire Freaks

by Scott Hefflon

Think of Vampire Freaks as MakeOutClub for Gothic freaks instead of bitchy lil’ PC emo kids, but then add all the usual stuff like videos, simple Flash videos (Smurfs dancing to a Funker Vogt song), fan art, and linkz (always with the freakin’ spelling). There’s also music you can stream, reviews and interviews to read, and, I dunno, boards and chat rooms and all that shit in case you live in the fuckin’ sticks. I live a couple miles from ManRay, the Goth club in Boston, so I can pay $5-$10 three nights a week to listen to music I already own, pay $5 or more a drink (I dunno, I drink, I don’t count), and watch people all dressed “funny” being too cool to like each other. Then again, I’m an equal-opportunity hater, so maybe they’re having loads of fun and just can’t smile with all the face paint… Ah, I jest, I like the Goth scene; it’s just as silly, fake, and exclusive as every other scene, but the people are usually better-looking, bath more often, and they wear less clothing and can actually dance. At least their fashion addictions are out in the open and not denied and hidden behind mealy-mouthed talk of “cred.”

Anyway, the guy Jet who runs Vampire Freaks also does Fuck the Mainstream (, duh) and’ll be happy to sell you all kinds of shit, just in case you don’t live near a Hot Topic. There are 22 sets of “boy” pictures and about three times that many girl pictures. Most of the sets have stats, likes and dislikes (mostly music-based, but some talk about religion [take a wild guess], kitties, and long walks on moonlit beaches [bleeding, sobbing, cursing the heavens and wanting to die]), and there’re often email, website links, AIM, and various other ways to get in touch with them, if you’re so inclined. Oh, uh, a couple of the girls I checked out (er, “casually browsed”) were, like, 15, so tread carefully…