Naked News

by Scott Hefflon

Sick of Barbie and Ken condescending to you, chuckling hollowly at what passes for wit in local news programming? Check out Naked News. Seeing as the news is mostly quick-cut video footage and some fake-looking “journalist” narrator who’s less invested in the story than a cashier at a convenience store, you might as well watch a lovely lady or bulked-up beefcake chatter about the same events you can’t do shit about, right? Headlines are headlines, and video footage with voice-overs ain’t exactly rocket science, so why not enjoy a strip tease while catching up on the day’s events? There are also music, movie, car, and sports segments, as well as the usual “human interest” stuff that’s almost never very interesting to human’s with an IQ in the triple digits.

I seem to recall there being a lot more free tour stuff and teasers, so to speak, a year or so ago, but the gift shop is substantially expanded since last I checked. Tees, calendars, mugs, mouse pads, and freakin’ frisbees, either with your favorite anchorperson’s photo or just the Naked News logo and slogan, “The Program with Nothing to Hide.”

While The Daily Show is still funnier and, like, more informative and stuff, Jon Stewart and his crack(smoking) news team don’t get naked. Which is probably a good thing.
(www.nakednews.com)