A Novel by Blag Dahlia (Scapegoat Publishing)
by Brian Varney
First of all, in case anyone had any cause for doubt, Nina is exactly the novel you’d expect the singer of the Dwarves to write. Although calling it a novel is a bit of a stretch, as it’s little more than a series of vignettes whose connection to each other in any sort of story-telling fashion is pretty tenuous, the book’s main thrust (ha ha – see what I just did there?) is to present the exploits of a sexually precocious fifteen year old named Nina. You can pretty much fill in the blanks from there. Nina fucks the babysitter, a teacher, a judge, the new girl at school, etc. To be honest, I read the whole book and I can’t even remember who she did and didn’t fuck, and I don’t suppose it’s particularly important. It’s certainly not important to the book’s narrative flow because, well, it has no narrative flow. I suppose that was never the point. As is the case with the finest Dwarves songs, the point of the words is merely to make you laugh, and perhaps repulse you at the same time.
The comic flair we’ve come to expect from the guy who wrote “Motherfucker” and “Better Be Women” is present in the pages of Nina, though it’s not as dominant as I would’ve expected or liked. Perhaps it’s the lack of musical accompaniment, perhaps Blag does his best work in 25-second increments, or perhaps this is just a weak story idea poorly told. Regardless, I’d recommend skipping Nina and spending your $10 on a copy of Blood Guts & Pussy instead.