Columns/Fiction – Page 47 – Lollipop Magazine

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Understairwell – Fiction

June 1, 1997

S’ interestin’, my father become a deranged sort of celeb’ity. People still tell folks headin’ fer trouble with the liquor, “Yer headin’ for a Hurlie hole.”

The Third Eye – True Astrology – Column

June 1, 1997

Astrology is technical; a Natal Chart print-out is a circular geometrical nightmare of angles, arcs and glyphs (astrological symbols for planets and signs).

The Sporting Death of Soundgarden – Fiction

June 1, 1997

Unlike his modern-day Seattle counterparts, broadcaster Brickhouse, soused or no, would never have announced the passing of second-line heavy metal bands.

The Culture Bunker – Hello, My Name Is Legion – Fiction

June 1, 1997

I was chasing a dream of rock ‘n’ roll stardom, playing electric ocarina in a band comprised of a bunch of malcontents, layabouts, and known mousse abusers.

In For a Fin – Five fun things for under five dollars – Column

June 1, 1997

Yes, they have no bananas. But the naturally fresh folks at Garden Botanica do have fun sponges in every other fruit shape you might like to bite into.

A Rough Morning – Fiction

June 1, 1997

As I crossed the street this morning I saw three cows dancing in a circle. As I approached them, I noticed they were singing in a round.

A Guide to Selecting the Proper Dive Bar – Column

June 1, 1997

Enjoy these post-collegiate dark days. They only happen once, so you might as well make a big Bacchanalian production out of them.

Coroner’s Corner – A Public Service Announcement – Column

June 1, 1997

Money hungry distributors are now packaging the worst-ever horror films in tacky boxes with holograms and/or naked women to attract the no-brain jamboree.

Videosyncrasy – 101 Video Nights – Column

May 1, 1997

I braved the winter cold to rent the evening’s video, trying to do so in such a way as to somehow win her heart, which I finally did. Here’s how…

Sarre-Chasm – May Flowers Killed My Dog – Column

May 1, 1997

The Heartbreakers L.A.M.F. : The Lost ’77 Mixes – I don’t know quite how lucid Thunders and Nolan were at the time, but they sure fake it well.

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