column – Page 11 – Lollipop Magazine

Garbage Pail – Young Adult Movies – Column

September 1, 2000

Since pomo porno titles like Good Will Humping and Romancing The Bone are always good for a laugh, it got us thinking: What if adult movies sought inspiration from the titles of young adult novels?

Garbage Pail – Movies Combinations – Column

September 1, 2000

Movies Combinations: Three Kings and a Baby, The Long Kiss Goodnight of the Living Dead, Father of the Bride of Frankenstein.

Garbage Pail – Family Reunions – Column

September 1, 2000

Family Reunions We’d Hate to See: Paul & Hulk Hogan. George & Hillary Clinton. Shaun & Neal Cassidy.

Sarre-Chasm – You Can’t Fire Me… – Column

September 1, 2000

I’m goddamned sick and tired of battlin’ writer’s block to once again arrive at a frustrated first step, y’know, leave me alone and let me go back to bed. I say that every issue, and now I quit.

Coroner’s Corner – Kill Me And I Will Haunt Your Ass – Column

September 1, 2000

The premise of What Lies Beneath turns out to be strikingly similar to that of Stir of Echoes. In short, a presence is making itself known in order to shed light on how its earthly body was murdered.

Import Zone – K-Pop – Column

June 1, 2000

Some Korean pop artists can be compared to today’s J-pop artists; Korea’s Finkl and See U are the equivalent of Japan’s Speed and Max.

Coroner’s Corner – Human Viscera: A Tasty Guide – Column

June 1, 2000

I don’t know about you, but I believe any film could’ve been rendered more effective with the addition of flesh-ripping zombies. Something about dead and decayed people trying to eat warm, live people really strikes me as beautiful cinematography.

Garbage Pail – The Right Stuff – Column

June 1, 2000

NASA is also looking into applications of the new drug in reducing the tedium of space travel for their astronauts. The turds appear to be nonaddictive and have no known side effects but, because of their mild psychoactive properties, will be available only by prescription.

Sarre-Chasm – Fun(house) with Technology – Column

June 1, 2000

Thirty years after Elektra unleashed the Stooges’ classic on a disinterested world (“universally panned” crows the new press release), Rhino Handmade has put out a seven CD box set containing every last second of screwin’ ’round with the seven songs on the original record that made it to tape.

Garbage Pail – Names Changed to Protect the Cheesy – Column

June 1, 2000

What’s in a name change? For celebrities that’ve spent years trying to build up name recognition, there’s usually two reasons: Symbolically separating yourself from an embarrassing but lucrative past, or trying to give yourself a veneer of “I’m an adult thespian now” class.