Garbage Pail – Page 5 – Lollipop Magazine

Garbage Pail – Children’s Books You’ll Never See – Column

April 1, 1999

“Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear.” “Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her.” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy.”

Garbage Pail – A Candid Date With A Candidate – Column

April 1, 1999

Lance Blank is a politician who isn’t afraid to take a stand on the issues. Most of Blank’s “issues” have the pages stuck together.

Garbage Pail – Band Collaborations – Column

April 1, 1999

Band Collaborations: Sugar Ice Cubes, Ransyd Barrett, Reel Big Hagfish.

Garbage Pail – Things That Disturb Me – Column

January 1, 1999

My growing suspicion that the letters in Penthouse Forum are real, but the ones I’ve been getting from my mother aren’t.

Garbage Pail – The Atomic Cafe – Column

January 1, 1999

Relive those fabulous fifties in an atmosphere of fear, paranoia and good eatin’! The war may be cold but the food is piping hot!

Garbage Pail – Word of the Day – Column

January 1, 1999

Quick thinking and a hardbound Two-in-One Dictionary/Thesaurus sent him spinning. I proclaimed: “I’m a writer. My dictionary is bigger than yours.” Then I ran.

Garbage Pail – Scene & Herd – Column

November 1, 1998

The latest gossip, hearsay, conjecture, slander, calumny, fooferaw, unsubstantiated suppositions, and inoperative statements from the world of entertainment!

Garbage Pail – Maximum Maxims – Column

November 1, 1998

Why mince words when a real cutdown has more bite? “If you can’t take the heat, fuck off.” “You scratch my back and I’ll stop bad-mouthing you to everyone.”

Garbage Pail – Five Great Films Involving Cheese – Column

November 1, 1998

The Guns of Provolone. The Hunt For Red Leicester.

Garbage Pail – Extreme Bumper Stickers – Column

November 1, 1998

I wasn’t born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. Your child may be an honor student, but you’re still an idiot.