Lollipop Magazine

Garbage Pail – Things That Disturb Me – Column

January 1, 1999

My growing suspicion that the letters in Penthouse Forum are real, but the ones I’ve been getting from my mother aren’t.

Garbage Pail – The Atomic Cafe – Column

January 1, 1999

Relive those fabulous fifties in an atmosphere of fear, paranoia and good eatin’! The war may be cold but the food is piping hot!

Garbage Pail – Word of the Day – Column

January 1, 1999

Quick thinking and a hardbound Two-in-One Dictionary/Thesaurus sent him spinning. I proclaimed: “I’m a writer. My dictionary is bigger than yours.” Then I ran.

Garbage Pail – Scene & Herd – Column

November 1, 1998

The latest gossip, hearsay, conjecture, slander, calumny, fooferaw, unsubstantiated suppositions, and inoperative statements from the world of entertainment!

Garbage Pail – Maximum Maxims – Column

November 1, 1998

Why mince words when a real cutdown has more bite? “If you can’t take the heat, fuck off.” “You scratch my back and I’ll stop bad-mouthing you to everyone.”

Garbage Pail – Five Great Films Involving Cheese – Column

November 1, 1998

The Guns of Provolone. The Hunt For Red Leicester.

Garbage Pail – Extreme Bumper Stickers – Column

November 1, 1998

I wasn’t born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. Your child may be an honor student, but you’re still an idiot.

Immortal Combat – Fiction

November 1, 1998

I’m still not ready to get started on my great American novel, but the idea that I might be someday keeps me chaste from all sorts of pagan influences.

Garbage Pail – In The Age of Cloning – Column

September 1, 1998

In The Age of Cloning: Mary Lou Reed

Garbage Pail – Team-ups We’d Like To See – Column

September 1, 1998

Team-ups We’d Like To See: Nine Inch Nails & MC Hammer, Stray Cats & Skinny Puppy, The Misfits & The Specials.