Barb Wire
with Pamela Anderson Lee, Temuera Morrison, Steve Railsback
Written by Chuck Pfarrer, Ilene Chaiken
Directed by David Hogan
by Lex Marburger
A Treatise on the Human Form
or The Abundance of Secondary Mammalian Gender Characteristics in Pamela Anderson Lee’s Barb Wire
In the beginning, there was the breast. Ah, that pendulous, spherical wonder! The first thing that we encounter in our lives, this world-nourisher, this font of life! What we all grasp for in the first instants of our existence, what many long to caress, nuzzle, comfort. The holiest of holy symbols, an encounter with a breast triggers what Freud called the “oceanic state of bliss.” Reverence of the breast has existed for centuries in religion, art, and culture, from pre-historical statuettes of a Mother Goddess abounding with maternal flesh, to the saucer section of the USS Enterprise.
With proper application of a blade and silicone, we have come to the era of the Nietzschian Über-breast, an aesthetic achievement of epic proportions. The breast can now be shaped to a higher ideal than mere genetics can provide, and may now stand as a symbol of the World Breast, an invocation to the Universal Mother. Rather than a mere over-endowment for men’s base pleasures, the enhanced breast can be a symbol of self-transformation, of an increase in feminine power. Nowhere is the use of the Über-breast more clear than in Pamela Anderson Lee’s new film, Barb Wire.
In the beginning was the breast, and the same is true with this movie. In the first scene, we have Mrs. Lee dressed in black rubber and leather, being drenched with water as the credits roll. With thunderous rock ‘n’ roll in the background, she twists and shakes, while her glorious torso is slowly revealed. The movie screen makes possible the presentation of a pair of breasts that are at times more than ten feet across, with yards of magnificent cleavage. Unashamed and undaunted by traditional moral values, she flaunts her feminine wiles in the face of corporate America. Her breasts are the globes of Aphrodite, the dark brown nipples the faucets of Venus. They stand proud, and firm, casting out the demons of wickedness in their undeniable display of power. Yea, they are the breasts of Truth.
Encased in leather at all times, save for when they are wonderfully freed from such confinement, her breasts show themselves to be an indomitable fashion statement, prominent, not to be denied or ignored. Throughout the movie we see them from a multitude of angles as Pamela runs, kicks, takes bubble baths, and dangles hundreds of feet from the ground. And always, her breasts are proudly thrust forward. Held proudly by calfskin, they shift and sway to the graceful movements of both her shoulders and hips, stunning in their globular simplicity and awesome curves. The breasts of Pamela Anderson Lee. A metaphore for breasts around the world. They have been, and always shall be, the symbol of happiness, and of Life Itself.
Oh, the movie’s violence-soaked premise involves a future civil war and a pair of contact lenses.
