Morning Again

As Tradition Dies Slowly (Revelation)
by Tim Den

Hey kids: Wanna make a tasty metalcore shake, but don’t have time to bother with originality? Just follow the recipe Morning Again offers: Throw in Bolt Thrower’s “Realm of Chaos,” a few riffs written around the low E string (example: chug low E a few times, then add in high E in that oh-so-patented/predictable way), add friend-who-can’t-play-an-instrument-so-we-let-him-join-as-singer (so his feelings aren’t hurt by his crew), mix in more early Bolt Thrower characteristics (drum sound, drumming style, garage guitar distortion and overall production), then top it off with some really metalcore lyrics… you know: seasons, stones, murder, etc. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the most important part: do not attempt to throw new ideas, ingredients, or insights into this played-out formula (just to ensure it turns out as predictably as it should). Blend well, shake if necessary, pour and serve. The first sip will conjure up memories of ninth grade (when, what else, you used to worship Bolt Thrower), but by the third helping, you’ll be coughing for air… As you’re choking on this pedestrian beverage, you’ll wish something new/fresh would come and save you from your misery. But it’s too late… the mundane riffage has clogged your throat, as you are buried and suffocated by boredom. Next.
(PO Box 5232 Huntington Beach, CA 92615)