The Vandals – Hilter Bad, Vandals Good – Review

The Vandals

Hilter Bad, Vandals Good (Nitro)
by Scott Hefflon

The Vandals musta made a deal with the Devil. How else can they continue to crank out exactly what I need, exactly when I need it? Every freakin’ time they release an album/video/single, I want to hate it, to hate them, to froth wickedly about what a bunch of intentional, scene-scrutinizing, trend-watching bandwagon-jumpers they are who, sure, have a lot of talent for both writing and performing, but they know it, man, they see the opportunity and they take it, they aren’t real, man, they’re a shapeshifting buncha smart fucks who fill gaps and cash checks! But damn it if I don’t love Hitler Bad, Vandals Good as much as I’ve loved Oi! to the World, The Quickening, and Live Fast Diarrhea. While I can’t forgive them for having the same song on every comp that came out for six months straight, and a song or two (the same ones) in a coupla absolutely horrible movies (Glory Daze being their own turd, despite the music scoring by guitar madman Warren Fitzgerald and the fact that Superstar Ben Affleck proved yet again that he’s one of the most loathsome “Gen X” “actors” who’s somehow escaped the beating he deserves.), I can, um, sometimes fuggetaboudit.

Hitler Bad, Vandals Good opens with the jerky-yet-melodic “People that are Going to Hell,” layering those harmonies so wonderfully, dorking around so giddily, and oddly-enough, sounding kinda like the new Descendents musically, with Dave Quackenbush’s signature voice frolicking all over the place. “My Girlfriend’s Dead” is a catchy song filled with whistled melodies, pianos tinkling, and unobtrusive guitarwork, in which you follow the story of a guy who tells people his girlfriend’s dead so he doesn’t have to admit she dumped him. As the song progresses, it builds in complexity (as lies often do), and by the end, Dave Q. is screaming (in pitch) all deranged an’ shit. “Money’s Not An Issue” has a great ’50s style, pepped up to punk standards, and is an absolute classic of funny lyrics, harmonies stacked maniacally atop one another, and Warren’s guitar ripping away. “I’ve Got an Ape Drape” is a necessary song, riffing away so tight, so quick, you’d think you were listening to speedmetal unless you noticed the ironic grins on the bands’ faces. Silly hairdos, by the way, is what the song’s about. “If The Gov’t Can Read My Mind,” with it’s bubblegum chorus of “If the gov’t can read my mind, they’d know I’m thinking of you” is so Beach Boys/Queers (mixed with a bit of exotic congos and cheesy sci-fi synths), you’ll forgive them for writing such a chorus. “Too Much Drama” continues the high-octane fun with a song about how confusing dysfunctional families can be and how much you can learn from TV reruns. “Voices” appears courtesy of Pennywise and makes a helluva Vandals tune. “F’d up Girl” returns to the ’50s-on-crack style, blending raunchy guitars, Eddie Van Halen squeaks and squawks, demented toy piano tinkles, and roadhouse rockin’ horns and riff-a-rama – “Weird Al” Yankovic coulda written this song, except he doesn’t swear.

All lyrics are included, kids, so learn ’em now! No worries, there are pictures, too. I recently noticed all my favorite songs are written by guitar whiz Warren Fitzgerald. Aside from being a great producer and having a surprising ear for dweeby instruments and sounds, he just might be the best punk guitarist on the circuit, simply ’cause he can toss in screaming metal solos while leaping around the stage with his pants around his ankles, one of those propeller hats on his head, his hard-on helping with his hammer-ons, and people simply smile and say, “That’s Warren.” And then, of course, they close out Hitler Bad, Vandals Good with “So Long, Farewell” from The Sound of Music, a song you always suspected ripped shit up, but ain’t no metal band with the humor to goof on it. Enter the Vandals. The best of both worlds.
(7151 Warner Ave. #F-736 Huntington Beach, CA 92647)