The Jazz June
Breakdance Suburbia (Initial)
by Tim Den
There is a scary phenomenon going on in the emo world today. Alright, maybe that’s redundant, seeing as emo itself is a scary phenomenon (please somebody stop the tuneless yelping). But there’s something worse: the emo scenesters are becoming the popular kids in your high school.
The genre that prided itself on being made up of geeks has come a long way in a short time. Sometime after true nerds began singing out their frustration (Fugazi, Sunny Day Real Estate), those same people became girl magnets. Maybe it’s because the ’90s made underdogs and alternative lifestyles/fashion popular, maybe it’s because the nerds realized their black humor was actually a charming characteristic, or maybe they simply realized girls like guys who play wimpy music. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that now the nerds rule the halls. Girls love them for their “sensitivity,” guys like them for their “witty” comments, and they now love themselves for being so fucking popular. In return, this new found coolness has convinced them that they’re bad asses; that they can throw devil signs with their fists and yell “rock” even though they don’t; that, despite the fact that they personify girl-in-a-boy’s-body on stage (“must… impress chicks… with… forced sensitivity…”), they can think of themselves as the embodiment of the rock’n’roll lifestyle off stage. Too bad. They should really think again.
As should The Jazz June, who claim to enjoy “getting nasty on many levels” (sly, cynical, ironic, witty nerd charm [and a few desperate wink-winks]. Aren’t they just so irresistible, girls?). These kids have got it all wrong. You see: You don’t rock. Don’t pretend that you rock. Please. If you don’t believe me, listen to your own record a few more times. You have no business talking about “rocking out” or citing Run-DMC as an influence. Sure, acting like you live and speak the rock’n’roll language might make you feel better about yourself after a long day of playing gender-bender on stage, but it’s really a tasteless way to assure your manhood. If you’re gonna play emo, shut up about “nastiness” and “getting down.” Be the “charming” nerd that you are, and keep busy with the girls. Play your whinny tunes and be proud of your wimpiness. Oh, and one more thing: quit it with the moronic song titles. It’s not clever or charming. It’s pretentious and anyone can come up with them: we chose not to because we have better things to do with our time (learn how to play/sing/write instead, why doncha).
(www.initialrecords.com)
