Xanthe

by Chad Van Wagner

I like The X-Files. I don’t really watch TV, as the discipline necessary to actually turn on the set at a specific time each week is pretty much beyond me, but I do like The X-Files. I also like Mitch Pileggi, the guy who plays Skinner, Mulder and Skully’s boss on the show. I hadn’t really thought too much about him, though.

Apparently, someone out there has been taking up my slack. Xanthe is a fan fiction site, the kind of place that answers the question “what would Dr. Who do?” Harmless, if a little socially challenged. And by “a little socially challenged,” I mean “completely out there.”

The most eye-catching part of the site is the gallery (isn’t it always?). All sorts of softcore gay porn with Mr. Pileggi’s face Photoshopped on, occasionally with guest David Duchovny (one particularly memorable shot has the two men in a bear hug). I suppose in a world where someone can dedicate themselves to erotic stories of Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm (look it up), this sort of thing shouldn’t even warrant a raised eyebrow. And yet…

…it does. Big time. I’m always fascinated by how some people need to exaggerate a perfectly good situation. There are one or two (real) pictures of Mr. Pileggi without a shirt on, and while he might not be Mr. Olympia, the guy certainly looks like he could kick my reasonably fit ass without breaking a sweat. Why take his face and put it on a ‘roided-out underwear model?

The site is enormous, so I can’t pretend to give a complete view of the craziness going on, but before visiting Xanthe’s site, I was completely unaware that there was enough interest in X-Files footage set to music to warrant its own webring community. There’s also a bunch of West Wing stuff, but since I know even less about the West Wing than I do about Dr. Who, I’ll withhold commentary on that one.
(www.xanthe.org)