Dead Batteries

by Scott Hefflon

A while back, I broke the thingy that holds the batteries into my cable remote. Every so often, the batteries come out and roll across the floor. (By “come out,” I don’t mean to imply I buy Mexican jumping batteries, I mean I’m loaded and drop the remote, or my cat is high on cat nip and plays hockey with whatever I just put down.) One day, while following weird-sounding web links, jumping from site to site, trying to warp my brain just a little more, I stumbled over a site that sells painted batteries. Intrigued (or just really bored), I checked out the site and requested some stuff. Despite the site’s name, the batteries actually work. Bonus. I thought it was just some art project I could spend a few bucks on and then impress my friends by having cooler useless shit around my house than them. But they work. And they cost $1.25 each. So now, when the batteries from my remote roll across the floor, they look really cool.
(www.deadbatteries.com)