Pansy Division

Total Entertainment! (Alternative Tentacles)
by Lex Marburger

As a soundtrack to the “new gay” media so decried by Bill O’Reilly and others on Fox TV, you could do worse than the new Pansy Division album. Granted, the self-imposed label of “queer punk” is a little shaky. Total Entertainment! is about as punk as The Go-Gos were. Still, the guys have come pretty far as songwriters, as exemplified by “Sleeping in the Cold,” a ballad-like ode to breakup second-guessing, as well as the XTC-inspired feel of “Spiral.” But for those of you who prefer the “outrageous” and “shocking” (even if such words only apply to this stuff if you actually don’t read this ‘zine), Pansy Division still comes through with classics like “Alpine Skiing” (“It takes three guys to do it right/You need a guy on your left and a guy on your right/Get a rhythm going.” If you don’t get the reference at first, just think about it for a while), and the self-explanatory “He Whipped My Ass in Tennis, Then I Fucked His Ass in Bed.”

Granted, the lyrics are still a little clunky (“I try to rid my mind of all the painful residue/Try to stop these machinations, I’m as afraid as you.” I mean, really… Anyone who actually tries to get away with using “machinations” is really trying too hard), and there are a couple of poor musical choices, like the Cher vocal-bending in “No Protection” (yeah, it might be ironic, but it’s still painful). Still, as I said before, you could do worse if you were looking for some queer rock. As a side note, I can’t believe they didn’t do some pun like “Queer Rock for the Straight Jock” or something. Feel free to use it, guys.
(PO Box 419092, San Francisco, CA 94141)