Lollipop Magazine

Macaroni McSpoon’s Mike Stammer – Part Duh – Fiction

September 1, 2000

There was a sound behind me and I spun like a cat. Like a cat shrieking because you just ran the vacuum cleaner across its tail after hog-tying its paws and putting a burlap bag over its head to completely disorient it, but like a cat none the less and none the more.

CD Reviews par Jean-Paul Bavard – Fiction

September 1, 2000

Britney Spears – Oops, I Did It Again (10 out of 10): An artistic triumph that ranks alongside the great masterworks of 20th century art, such as Van Gogh’s “Starry Night,” Welles’ “Citizen Kane,” and Ritter’s “Three’s Company.”

The Lonelies – Part Six: Monday – Fiction

June 1, 2000

Mildred woke up, finding herself lying naked on Temptation and Cindy’s dirty living room carpet. Cindy, also naked, was lying next to her and snoring. Her wristwatch said it was almost two in the afternoon.

Send Lawyers, Lobbyists, Liars and Lapdogs – Fiction

June 1, 2000

A hundred years ago, people sang and danced and told stories in their homes, in church, and on the corner. Today, music is something played by professionals under the contract of record labels which own the “rights” to it.

Confessions of a Tupperware Virgin – Fiction

June 1, 2000

One day you’re in college doing keg stands and tequila shots, and then, before you know it, a Tupperware party invitation shows up in the mail and you’re faced with the mortality of your youth.

Macaroni McSpoon’s Mike Stammer – Fiction

June 1, 2000

I looked at her. She looked back at me. I kept looking at her. And she kept looking at me. “What are you looking at?” she finally asked. “You,” I replied. Because I was.

Dogshit Park – Part Two – Fiction

June 1, 2000

“She slit her wrists over the kitchen sink,” I said. I was shaking uncontrollably; it always happened when I talked about Marcus, which I hadn’t, to anyone, in a very long time. They found her the next morning. She’d deadbolted the door.

C’est What? – An “Interview” with Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst – Fiction

June 1, 2000

World-renowned Music/Theatre/Film/ Fashion/Media Critic Jean-Paul Bavard met recently with Fred Durst, front man of the multi-platinum superstar rap/metal group Limp Bizkit for an exclusive interview at Vacuity, a posh Hollywood bistro.

Garbage Pail – Pancakes of the World, Unite! – Fiction

April 1, 2000

I.D.O.P. (International Dungeon of Pancakes). I.I.O.P. (International Igloo of Pancakes). I.Z.O.P. (International Zoo of Pancakes),

Garbage Pail – Fangs Through Tofu – Fiction

April 1, 2000

Vlados, 247, died Tuesday due to complications related to his refusal to drink blood. Perhaps the most shocking convert to veganism ever, Vlados was converted to the cause by a couple of Birkenstock-wearing potential victims who showed him some persuasive pamphlets.