Garbage Pail

Rejected Taglines for Lollipop

by Scott Hefflon, William Ham, and Lex Marburger

• Lollipop Now With Adjectives!
• Lollipop It’s Not a Magazine, It’s a Cry For Help.
• Lollipop It’s Not Just a Job, It’s an Indenture.
• Lollipop We love your band if the check clears.
• Lollipop Local scene? What local scene?
• Lollipop Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
• Lollipop It’s not just a magazine… Okay, it is.
• Subscribe to Lollipop We need the money.
• Lollipop Now with copy editors that do their job good.
• Lollipop I’m only combing my hair, mom!
• Lollipop Won’t Stick To Most Dental Work.
• Lollipop The Magazine More Doctors Recommend To Their Patients Who Suck.
• Lollipop No, We’re Just Happy To See You.
• Lollipop Where Gonzo Journalism Goes To Die.
• Lollipop Back In 5 Minutes.
• Lollipop It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.