Lollipop Magazine

Writers Wanted (for target practice) – Column

April 1, 1999

Journalism conveys information to the reader with as little bias as possible. Bad writing is the exact opposite. It conveys bias, with as little information as possible.

Seedy Haikus – Column

April 1, 1999

Cold, brilliant nutcase / Like the Pet Shop Boys if led / By Jack the Ripper.

Videosyncrasy – American History Sex – Column

April 1, 1999

George and Weezie Jefferson are cleaning out their old apartment, when they discover some old papers which reveal that Thomas Jefferson is George’s ancestor.

Underground Station – Column

April 1, 1999

Collected Checkered Demon features stories from the comics where the demon out-fights, out-drinks, and out-fucks bikers, pirates, aliens, and vampires.

Sarre-Chasm – Four Typewritten Pages – Column

April 1, 1999

So I’m sitting here, squinting through the harsh light of the new year, gulping yesterday’s flat brut outta someone else’s discarded glass…

Coroner’s Corner – Evil Deader Just Got Better – Column

April 1, 1999

I just got back from another Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors. I went to see was Dario Argento, who happens to be the greatest director in the entire universe.

Prelude to a Lick – If You Don’t Kick Ass in Life, Life’s Going to Kick Your Ass – Column

April 1, 1999

We strive to carve out an identity for ourselves, perhaps trying to figure out who we are and why we’re here, but mostly so that what we make, what we do, we can truly call our own.

Lick Us Back – Reader’s Responses – Column

April 1, 1999

My advice to y’all: William Faulkner is dead – get off it.

Garbage Pail – Movie Combinations – Column

April 1, 1999

Movie Combinations: Boogie Nights of the Living Dead. There’s Something about Moll Flanders. Bound to Crash on a Lost Highway.

Garbage Pail – Manson Queen – Column

April 1, 1999

Starlet + Serial Killer/Psycho/Baddy = Your Androgynous Glam-Horror Name: Demi Dahmer, Sarah Michelle Hitler, Ally McVeigh…