Garbage Pail – Genetic Splicings I’d Hate to See – Column April 1, 1999 Genetic Splicings: George Michael Myers, Ron Howard Cosell, Tommy Lee Harvey Oswald.
Garbage Pail – A Few of my Favorite Things… – Column April 1, 1999 Favorite band name to pronounce when you have a cold: Sebadoh
Garbage Pail – Children’s Books You’ll Never See – Column April 1, 1999 “Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear.” “Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her.” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy.”
Garbage Pail – A Candid Date With A Candidate – Column April 1, 1999 Lance Blank is a politician who isn’t afraid to take a stand on the issues. Most of Blank’s “issues” have the pages stuck together.
Garbage Pail – Band Collaborations – Column April 1, 1999 Band Collaborations: Sugar Ice Cubes, Ransyd Barrett, Reel Big Hagfish.
Garbage Pail – Things That Disturb Me – Column January 1, 1999 My growing suspicion that the letters in Penthouse Forum are real, but the ones I’ve been getting from my mother aren’t.
Coroner’s Corner – A Time to Kill? – Column January 1, 1999 The plan was to provoke Alex to attack them so that they could kill him justifiably in defense. The premise is stupid as hell… but I love it.
Garbage Pail – The Atomic Cafe – Column January 1, 1999 Relive those fabulous fifties in an atmosphere of fear, paranoia and good eatin’! The war may be cold but the food is piping hot!
Underground Station – Column January 1, 1999 Waiting for Food, is all restaurant placemat drawings, doodles created while Crumb waited for waiters.
Sarre-Chasm – Hello, I’m a Bitter Reactionary – Column January 1, 1999 My favorite record released this year was Silky by Andre Williams, backed by two ex-Gories. Forgive Thee, The Cheater Slicks’ double record is a close second.