by Scott Hefflon, William Ham, and Lex Marburger
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…
- … use a pseudonym.
- … do it in 500 words or less.
- … you’re probably right.
- … it’s your fault for buying that Lemonheads record anyway.
- … you’re hired.
Assorted Crap Overhead ’round the Office (as far as you know)
Cow Tipping: Because fat girls need money, too.
If a deaf person swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Good things come to those who mate.
The Warm Fuzzies give me a rash.