Garbage Pail

Fake Band Names Dealing with Religion

With Christian Rock supposedly being “so big,” and everyone from sports stars and award-accepting actors to politicians name-dropping the Big G, here’s a sampling of religion-oriented band names and album names I came up with.

By Scott “I am so going to Hell” Hefflon
illustration by Dave Dawson

Burning Bush Sets Forest Fire
Cheerleaders for Jesus
Christ on a Stick
Christ Like
Crankin’ with Christ
Communal Whine
The Devil Dudes
Death’s Calling Card
Farting for Jesus
God Makes Mistakes
Gates of Heaven
The Goddammits
The Goddamn Perverts
Godma
God on Ice
God on the Rocks
God Rules!
Hooked on Jesus
Holy Shit
Hellabitch
Hopped-Up on the Lord
The Highway to Hellmen
Holy Moses and the Dang I Love Jesus Gang
Jesus Was Way Cool (OK, that’s by John Hall of King Missle)
Joshua Tree Stump
Jonsin’ for Jesus
The Judas Fan Club
The Jesus Pushers
Kick the Habit-Wearing Nun
Kung Fu Hebrew

Leg of Lamb of God
Moses’ Throbbing Staff
Money Lender’s Table
Noah’s Arc Welding 
Noah’s Arches
Nun of the Above
Priest Feast
Pinhead Angels
Pillars of Salt
Parting the Red Sea and other Cool Shit God Did
Priests and Pedophiles
Prophetic Yammering
Paradise on Credit
Paradise on the Installment Plan
Praying Mantras
The Patron Saints of Mediocrity (an Amadeus rip-off)
Stairway to Satan
Satan, Like, Rocks!
The Sodomites
Sodom and Creamora
Scary Mary and her Lost Virginity
Staff of God
Saints and Sin Nerds
Sin Pull
Satan’s Stepson Simon
Sister Christian (Night Ranger may’ve been the anti-Christ)
Substitute Savior
Tally the Souls
Temple Squatters
Thank God for That!
Transcription of the Word of God
Unorthodox Methodology
The Unholy Stink
Voice of Angels
Verve of God
Van of God
Virgin Mary Stripshow
Worship Me
The Way to Salvation
Warriors for Jesus
Word of God
Waiting for Jesus
Welcome to The Afterlife, May I Take Your Order?